Drinking wine at noon...

Today I had lunch with a woman to discuss one of the graduate program I've been considering. It was only of those lucky occasions where you click. A twenty minute meeting turns into a three course lunch with a really good bottle of wine, and before you know it you've found some one who is willing to go to bat for you, mentor you. My anticipation has been replaced with an overwhelming feeling of relief. Finally! Finally a sign, a step in the right direction, some sort of guidance towards a path.
Growing up is hard no matter how you cut it. I can't even comprehend how blessed I have been, and yet the double edged sword of opportunity poses its own challenges. I'm able to do so many things, yet I haven't had a clue what to do. People always gave me the advice they wish they'd had: "follow your passion." Awesome. Now what the heck is my passion? I want so badly to be passionate about one specific thing. Even if that passion tortures me in that starving artist sort of way. I looked and studied, I traveled and wrote in my journals, and still no luck. No one true calling. There are lots of things I'm passionate about. I love children, literature, and cooking, I appreciate art. I'm loving and compassionate, and boy can I organize..but one dire passion? One thing that fills me up and drives me to create? It's just not there. I'm missing that gene. So where does that leave a well educated, type-A, over-achiever? Working in a cubicle, 13 hours a day, completely miserable.
These past few weeks have been filled with soul searching. Writing in my silly journal, talking to whoever would listen, trying to figure out the next step. Trying not to feel lost in the possibilities. I was a psychology major in college, and I really enjoyed that. I was thinking of becoming a marriage & family therapist, but then I pictured myself trying to start a private practice and being an innocent looking 25 year old lecturing to a middle aged couple about how to save their marriage. They would laugh in my face I thought. So perhaps teaching? I love children, and treasure the memories of some of my most influential teachers. Plus, can't beat the hours.. and then a friend suggested becoming a school psychologist. And that sort of hit a chord. Sounded like the perfect compromise. Maybe not a dire passion, but a good fit. I started researching, but being the type of person who looks for signs, I needed something a little more...
Today's lunch was just that. It felt right. And drinking wine on a Wednesday at noon wasn't have bad either.