I'm more well rested than I've been since elementary school. I'm happy, and relaxed, and well... just filling up list after list with wants. I am manifesting a whole future for myself, down to the nitty gritty details. And ya know, that's kind of fun.
Although now I'm stuck in this unproductive dilemma where I am wanting these things, and waiting for these things to happen to me, but not really doing anything to make them happen. And that feels really foreign. And flawed.
I know better than to sit around merely wanting and not doing. And yes, I needed some time to recover, to get my stregnth back, and reevaluate. But I think it's about time to get into action.
Here are the things I want:
- A new job. It doesn't have to be a fantasticly amazing job, with a super competitive company, where I can bust my balls to move up the ladder at an exceptionally speedy rate. I would like a job that brings me some sort of happiness, work with nice people, breathe, and make some money.
- To move in with the bf. This doesn't have to happen right now, but as some point in the not too distant future I would really like for us to get a place together. Yes I may have done everything wrong in the pursuit of this goal. There is a minor problem that we haven't fully, rationally discussed this while sober. And yes, I may have tried to bring this up last friday night while we were severely intoxicated. And when he said lets talk about this tomorrow when we are sober I may have said "noooo I want to talk about this nowwwww" (in a whiny drunk voice), and then I may have been so embarassed with my actions the that when he tried to bring it up the next morning I hid my head under the pillow and said "pleaseeee stop." So yea, I've been goin about that one all wrong. Its just awkward, and yes I'm aware that shows my immaturity, but I still want it. (eek!)
- Get into grad school. This is out of my hands at this point, so I just have to pray for the best.
6 comments:
The waiting game truly stinks, but you will be fine! Hang in there, I hope it all works out!
Oh my gosh. I loved Eat, Pray, Love. Opposite of Love is nowhere near on that level of writing but it was still a good story. It's the authors first novel and it does show a bit. But it's short and an easy read. I read it in three days. I would reccommend it.
I think it sounds like you are doing great with getting what you want out of life!! Living together is GREAT but definitely something you will want to talk about soberly first, LOL.
I'm sure everything will fall into place for you :-)
I totally get it. I spend far to much time just expecting things to fall into place, but it doesn't really work out that way.
Good Luck on getting into Grad School! You should be hearing back soon right? It seems to be about the right time.
Hoping everything works out!
It sounds like you have your head on right :)
It's hard to get from "I want" to "I have," trust me I know! I think I'm a lot like you in a lot of ways. But I hope the best for you and bf, good luck talking about moving in! If you just say what's on your mind, then you can't go wrong :)
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