Just a Number?

Today is both a happy day and a sad one...
Happy, because I bought a pair of amazingly comfortable & cute Seven jeans on *clearance.*
Yes I paid $70 for a pair of $176 jeans. Amazing, right? (Forget the part that I have way too many pairs of jeans & vowed to not spend any more money on things I don't need.)
So, with all of this happiness, what you might ask, is the sad part? The sad part, I'll tell you, is that I normally would not have even tried these jeans on, had it not been for the incredible bargain, because they are not my size. They are, sadly, a size larger than the size I normally wear. Now, I know that different brands run differently, and for the most part sizes are sort of arbitrary.. I completely agree. Except that lately (and by lately I mean the past couple months) my jeans have been getting tight. To the point where the one percent stretch is having to really earn its keep.
I am currently wearing the aforementioned evil sized jeans, and holy goodness... these babies are comfortable! And they are still fitted/ look really cute... so we are just going to pretend that today was not the day that I went up a size..
Just a day where I got a cute pair of jeans...

Saw one of my favorite people...

And picked up this hat, which i happen to find ridiculously adorable, and far too cool for me. Maybe it's the fact that it semi-covers my horrific roots (hello highlights, remember how we used to be friends?), but this hat is really making me smile.

Maybe Monday

Maybe I've spent the past hour looking at china patterns online. Just Maybe.

Call it oblivion, or maybe denial... I don't have a dream dining room, or even a job, and yet instead of paying my $150's worth of parking tickets, or even *gasp* looking for a new job, I am here... trying to decide between Constance by Bernardaud and the lovely and fabulous La Scala by Richard Ginori.
Heck, at this point I'm even loving Vera Wang's collections at Macy's.

I also have to go to the DMV this afternoon to replace my drivers license, which I managed to lose last weekend. Nothing like the department of motor vehicles to shake you into reality.
No wonder I'm day dreaming... I just want to fast forward through all of this in between, uncertainty and enjoy a life of stable consistency.. hmmm

In other news, I had a really great weekend. The bf and I went to The Getty Villa yesterday, which was absolutely lovely. The weather was perfect, the architecture & gardens are incredible, and we had a delicious lunch over looking the ocean. It was a perfect Sunday.

6 Amazing Months

I love that I knew instantly. The way it goes in fairy tales, but never believe is real. I was skeptical that anyone could know the way we knew, could fall in love that fast. But everything with you was right, from the very beginning, we fit. Suddenly everything I had always wanted, but never knew I was looking for, was right there beside me.
I love that we stayed up till 6 am on the night we met, just talking and kissing. I love that we trusted each other instantly. Needed to be close to each other immediately. There wasn't any fear of rejection, of being hurt or deceived. I knew that what I was feeling was too strong to be one sided. Too real. To say that you complete me sounds cliche, out of a chick flick for a hung over Sunday afternoon, but that's how I see our story. Some sort of fantastic romantic comedy filled with sneaky first kisses in a busy bar, epic weekends, crazy roommates, and ultimately just knowing that you are the one for me.
I love that you ask for ketchup when french fries come to the table. Even if you think ketchup is gross. I love that I can read your mind when you're up to something naughty. I love that I can slither out and escape when you're wrestling me. I love even more that I don't want to. I love that from that very first night we could talk for hours without running out of things to say. Even when your exhausted and want to fall asleep. I love that we never get sick of each others company. I love that you think we're a wholesome couple, and that our lives are so much better because we have each other in them.
I can honestly say that these six months have been the best of my life, for no other reason than that I found you. To say I feel lucky is an understatement for how grateful I am that you are in my life. You are everything I've always wanted and I can't even tell how excited I am for what the future holds.
I know its only six months, and in the grand scheme of our lives it seems so small, but these six months represent the beginning of everything, so I wanted to not just celebrate it, but document it. This is how I feel right now.

Dear Motivation, Where Did You Go?

Maybe its the dreary weather, or perhaps a mid-month slump, but whatever motivation I had to exercise at the beginning of January has completely vanished. It's almost magical, in the worst sense, here one minute and gone the next. And now its Thursday afternoon and I haven't worked out at all this week... and I never work out on weekends, besides the sporadic beach cruise to a bar, where I consume my weight in beer and nachos, so this week is basically a bust.
I hate that my gym is so far away from my house.
I hate that I signed a stupid one year contract.
I hate seeing the $60 charge on my credit card statement.
I hate the mere thought of swimsuit season, or that anyone will ever have to face my abdomen again.
I hate that I let myself eat treats at work all the time to compensate for hating my job.
I love that I don't have to make myself feel better anymore, or waste my life in that cubicle.
I love that I can still get away with sweaters for at least another couple months.
I love that my boyfriend is either oblivious or just a freakin' saint for not noticing the fact that I've gained 7 or 8 pounds since we started dating 6 months ago.
Ohh holy jeez, I just realized what this post should really be about.
Now there is way too much hate here for a very exciting 6 month anniversary post... So I'm going to end here and start a new one.

Drinking wine at noon...

Today I had lunch with a woman to discuss one of the graduate program I've been considering. It was only of those lucky occasions where you click. A twenty minute meeting turns into a three course lunch with a really good bottle of wine, and before you know it you've found some one who is willing to go to bat for you, mentor you. My anticipation has been replaced with an overwhelming feeling of relief. Finally! Finally a sign, a step in the right direction, some sort of guidance towards a path.
Growing up is hard no matter how you cut it. I can't even comprehend how blessed I have been, and yet the double edged sword of opportunity poses its own challenges. I'm able to do so many things, yet I haven't had a clue what to do. People always gave me the advice they wish they'd had: "follow your passion." Awesome. Now what the heck is my passion? I want so badly to be passionate about one specific thing. Even if that passion tortures me in that starving artist sort of way. I looked and studied, I traveled and wrote in my journals, and still no luck. No one true calling. There are lots of things I'm passionate about. I love children, literature, and cooking, I appreciate art. I'm loving and compassionate, and boy can I organize..but one dire passion? One thing that fills me up and drives me to create? It's just not there. I'm missing that gene. So where does that leave a well educated, type-A, over-achiever? Working in a cubicle, 13 hours a day, completely miserable.
These past few weeks have been filled with soul searching. Writing in my silly journal, talking to whoever would listen, trying to figure out the next step. Trying not to feel lost in the possibilities. I was a psychology major in college, and I really enjoyed that. I was thinking of becoming a marriage & family therapist, but then I pictured myself trying to start a private practice and being an innocent looking 25 year old lecturing to a middle aged couple about how to save their marriage. They would laugh in my face I thought. So perhaps teaching? I love children, and treasure the memories of some of my most influential teachers. Plus, can't beat the hours.. and then a friend suggested becoming a school psychologist. And that sort of hit a chord. Sounded like the perfect compromise. Maybe not a dire passion, but a good fit. I started researching, but being the type of person who looks for signs, I needed something a little more...
Today's lunch was just that. It felt right. And drinking wine on a Wednesday at noon wasn't have bad either.

Recipe Collection

Just one more post about my new found cooking obsession, and then I'll start posting about real things. Perhaps even a list of new years resolutions before January is over??
Being the type-A organization queen, I have long been a fan of files. I have a filing drawer in my desk, as well as a couple adorable file holders on top of my desk, all from my favorite type-A loving stationary store The Paper Source (seriously please click on that link. Their stuff makes me cry with a beautiful mixture of joy and pain that can only come from overpriced grown up school supplies.)
Anyway, this system works for the usual sorting. Ya know: articles, bills, stamps, pictures of dream homes, and the like, but for recipes it just wasn't cutting. I filled two folders with magazine tear outs and computer print outs, and was just not feeling inspired... So I decided to make a recipe binder.. and voila!

One hour, twelve bucks, and a trip to office depot later... I have my very own, 3-ring binder complete with 8 dividers separating recipes into the following categories: appetizers, meat, seafood, vegetables, pasta, sides & soups, desserts, & breakfast.

And that's it.. I'm pretty proud of my creation!

I'm clearly behind in the times though because I still haven't even switched over to 2009 calendars. I use my iCal for most things, so that's set but I still want to get a calendar to hang up & a refill for my planner. I was hoping since January is half way over this adorable calendar would have already gone on sale, but on second look at the Paper Source website I think I might just have to cave and pay full price, because really its far too adorable not to own.
Paper Source 2009 Wall Art Calendar

Cooking

I have been planning to do a whole list of new years resolutions to jump start this blog.. for now, I'll start with one of my resolutions for 2009.
Cook more! I love to cook. It's more rewarding, less expensive, and healthier than eating out all of the time... plus it makes my boyfriend really happy.
The one thing that slows be down is my lack of creativity in the kitchen. Lately I have discovered this whole new world of food/ cooking blogs, and sheesh they are fantastic! A whole new world has opened up for me, and I'm completely addicted (and amazed).
Cook books also help, and I did receive two fantastic cook books for Christmas :

• Giada de Laurentiis' new cookbook:
  

• Tyler's Ultimate:

(I've made the Ultimate Ratatouille & the Cold Pasta Salad with Roasted Chicken, Plums, Blue Cheese, & Basil from this book in the past and they turned out amazingly delish.)

I'm proud to say that this week I have made two delicious home cooked meals (and I plan on making more).
Tuesday I made: Giada's Eggplant Timbale

Which looks super fancy, and tastes even better. Now I am a huge eggplant lover, and my bf is a huge baked pasta lover... so this little number knocked our socks off. Luckily we had dinner with my parents that night, because this could have fed a small army. (And we had tons of left overs!) The real secrets to this dish are having a mandolin to make those thin slices of eggplant, and spring pan so you can just pop it out after its done baking.. other than that, I just followed the steps and it was pretty simple. (I also used ground turkey instead of ground beef & sweet italian chicken sausages for regular italian sausages... just because... well, i'm a girl. I'll eat all of those other things, but to be honest there was so much flavor in this dish I didn't miss the beef/ pork at all.)
After the heavy-ness that was our Tuesday supper, I wanted to make something on the lighter side for dinner last night. I wanted it to be a less time intensive, but still flavorful, and satifying... Wandering around the web one of my favorite foodie bloggers The Wednesday Chef had just posted a recipe for Roasted Broccoli with Shrimp, with the first line "you should totally make this for dinner tonight." Well, I listened... and boy am I glad I did. I served the crispy broccoli and lemon-y shrimp over some wild rice, poured a couple glasses of chardonnay and called it day.
Here's the picture Luisa (The Wednesday Chef) posted:

Mine looked like that too, I was just way too hungry to take a picture before it was devoured.
That's what I'll have to work on if I want to be a snazzy food blogger. Taking pictures at every step. Adds a whole new challenge to cooking.

Tonight I have an information session for a graduate school program, so there wont be any home cooked dinner, but I plan to tackle a new recipe for either tomorrow or saturday night. Starting slow with three home cooked meals this week I think it a good goal, and a vast improvement over my previously excessive eating out ways.

Cars

Now that I suddenly have free time, one would I assume I'm doing extremely productive and beneficial things. Hours that were previously spent simply making money have now been replaced by... well.... wandering around parking structures? Granted, this was time well spent because eventually I did find my car. Albeit it was on the fourth floor, after I spent twenty minutes scouring every square inch of the third. I would have sworn I only went up to level three. bygones.
Anyway, this little exercise (perhaps it could even be considered cardio, as my heart rate did increase) would have previously put me into a tailspin due to the waste of a precious 20 minutes of free time.. and yet now I was calm, and simply relieved to find my dirty car.
Which brought about a whole new mission for this sunny Tuesday. A car wash! Isn't that what normal people do? Ya know, not drive around with an inch and a half of grime...
I was planning on getting a new car this month... In my state of career depression I decided to reward myself with material posessions. I've had the same car since I turned 16, and while it is pretty much the most dependable thing in my life.. problem free, and still somewhat sporty.. I was going to throw it all away for...*gasp* A convertable!
Because according to a former co-worker, they're not just a car, but a way of life. And I figured my way of life could use an upgrade, and since I never got to see the sun during the week... having the top down might make my beloved weekends that much sweeter.
Quitting my job also meant throwing out the whole new car fantasy. Honestly though, I'm completely ok with that. I'll get a new car some day. Maybe even a convertable, depending on where I'm at in the life plan. A convertable, along with being a way of life, is the perfect car for your twenties. It is not a car I would ever have once I want to start a family, so we'll see... which comes first, a convertable or a family. (Don't worry folks!! There will be no families in the immediate future... Or marriages for that matter, for least a year or two!)
So anyway, the car is now washed & found.. and the rest of my day shall be spent cleaning and preparing for the boy friend to finish work...
This is true luxury... and believe me, I'm not taking it for granted. I know it wont last long, as soon I'll have to snap out of the whole "recovery" phase and actually get another job.. but for now, I'm loving it.

A Quote...

“There are years that ask questions, and years that answer.”
Zora Neale Hurston

2008 was definitely a year for questions. I think 2009 is going to be a year of answers.

P.S. Your comments made my day :) I'm so glad you remembered me...

New Year, New Blog

Lets try this again.. It’s amazing what a year can bring.

Last year I started a blog as a senior in college, uncertain of my future, with kind of sucky boyfriend, and wide eyes. Well, things changed. I graduated, moved back to Los Angeles, broke up with the sucky boyfriend, started an excessively demanding job in advertising, met the love of my life, turned 22…

I basically grew up in super speed time. I suppose working 60 hours a week will do that to a person. Sadly, the old blog was not as lucky. Frustrated with my lack of free time, the blog was a constant reminder of yet another thing I should be doing (and really wanted to do), but didn’t have the time or the energy.. AND it had all kinds of information about a past relationship that served absolutely no purpose floating around the public spaces of the internet. So the delete blog button was pushed, and a little part of me cried. I still however read all my favorite old blogs, except I had become a creepy lurker instead of an active participant… Kind of like my presence at the gym.

Anyway, cut to the chase… finally quit the dream job from hell. Learning to rejoin the world of the living, I’m happy as can be, remembering what it feels like to not be in a constant state of panic attack, and I’m starting to plan the next step…

Oh yes, and I’m ready to rejoin the blogging world. Take me back?