Being There

I cannot believe that March is almost over. If February flew by, this month has seriously time warped away. March has been such a fun, decadent month. But then again these past couple months have just been oozing with "me time." The upside of all this self-indulgence is that it has been a (relatively) stress-free blast. The downside is my credit card bill. I am now feeling completely rejuvenated, and desperate to get back to work.
The good news is that I have a job interview tomorrow. For a really interesting looking job. That I really want. (And a salary better than my last job.)
I forgot (lie. failed) to mention that I did not get accepted to the one graduate program that I applied to. After kicking myself in the face (or something like that?) for only applying to ONE program, I decided to move on (after crying, freaking out about what I'm going to do with my life, how I have no direction, am completely lost, hopeless, etc).
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I have absolute faith in this, and have seen it multiple times in my life. (college, friendships, romantic relationships, jobs, etc.) I have prayed a lot more in this past week than I have in a long long while. Granted I am unbelievably blessed, and ridiculously happy, the whole lack of job/ direction/ plan has been weighing heavily on me. I am a planner. I can't help it. I want to know where things are headed, and prepare, and have a roadmap. And more than that, I often want to fast forward through the entire journey and just be there already. I know this last part is bad. I need to enjoy the process. I have enjoyed the process of the past couple months. But the time has come. I really need some sort of sign. I'm feeling lost, and all of this journey-ing is needing a bit of guidance. I have prayed for guidance. To be led in the right direction. For strength and faith. And tomorrow I suppose we shall see.
But my fingers are seriously crossed. I hope the interview tomorrow goes well. I hope the job is right for me. I want it to be right.

So, this post hasn't been about Vegas at all, but these thoughts were completely overwhelming my mind, and they made this past weekend seem sort of meaningless.. I guess thats obvious though. It was Las Vegas, land of the meaningless.
It was a blast though. The BF & I realized that we are in fact not Vegas people. After a day of frozen margaritas (sugar high), pool clubs (which basically looked like a giant x rated film. gross) and a night at one of the hottest clubs, we were completely happy to eat McDonalds in our hotel room in comfy clothes while our friends stayed up all night. (Now I NEVER eat McDonalds, so that was sinful in itself.) It made me so happy however, to not be out there searching for someone, needing something else, but to completely content in the simplicity of just being with my boyfriend whom I adore, and reveling in the fact that we are on the same page about oh so many things. All in all we managed to have a rediculously great time though. It was so much fun to be in a vacation spot with all of our friends... definitely a Disneyland for grown ups fealing.

And now, without further adieu... Vegas Pictures:

There's No Place Like Home

Dorothy was spot on. I love to travel. I get ridiculously excited planning trips. Hotels make me jump for joy. I love exploring new cities, trying out new restaurants, shopping... but man oh man do I love coming home. Especially after a longgggg day of driving (hung over), in traffic, through a windy sandstorm in the desert.
Getting in my bed was the absolute best feeling in the world. And now the detox begins. In other slightly less whiny news: Vegas was an absolute blast. I'll post a better recap tomorrow with pictures (we took SO many fantastically hilarious photos), but for now I will just say this. I am a really ridiculously lucky girl. I seem to have managed to find the one boy who I can be with non-stop, talk about poop, judge all the trashy, slutty looking girls in Vegas, and be on the exact same page about pretty much everything, be completely annoyed with the rest of the universe with, and yet still find him absolutely irresistibly wonderful. (Run on sentence apologies.) How is that even physically possible? After drinking for three days, in the desert, with all the skanks and creepers, I am bothered by pretty much everything. Except for him. Miracle of miracles.

p.s. I am completely Vegas-ed out for the next year. I have re-learned that I love dive bars and happy hours. I will never be a clubber. Is that even what they are called? I am so not cool.

Twitter Anyone?

True to form, I am late in the whole Twitter game. A typical trend follower, I held out on Twitter until I became certain that I was the only one left on the internet not "tweeting."
This has all changed.
LCtweets is my name.
Friend me, find me, follow me. I don't know, lets just connect. haha
I'm so out of my league here.

Spring is in the Air

Things that are making me ridiculously happy right now:

• 80 degree sunshine. Hello spring, I love you.
• Fresh lilacs from the farmers market. (Favorite smell in the world.)
• Spring cleaning! So fresh and so clean clean... (yes that was a white girl rap.)
• Rediscovering long forgotten warm weather clothes.
  
• Starting to work on my tan for Vegas.
• Going to Vegas in less than a week and a half.

Things that are making me less than happy right now:

• My sore throat. But even that isn't dampening my mood. Being sick really isn't all that bad if you can spend the morning tanning with a huge glass of iced Emergen-C between shots of Zicam. I'm just trying to rest and pray that it doesn't turn into the horrendous cold that the BF has had all week.

Hope everyone else is having a lovely (and healthier) day!

A Full Recap

Well I have officially not posted in 11 days. Such a blog slacker. So where did I leave off?
Chicago was an absolute blast.

Super fun city. Tons of delicious food. An entire day spent at the Art Institute. The bean and Millenium Park. Oh yes, and lots of shopping. I really appreciate everyone's advice, I definitely feel like I hit all the best spots. I am so glad I took Jill and all of the Top Chef's advice and went to dinner at Avec. From the artichoke crostini, to the strip steak with raisins, and the famous chorizo stuffed dates, it was absolutely delicious. I actually had two of my favorite dining experiences while in Chicago (those folks seriously know how to eat (&drink!!)). My other favorite dinner was at Province, which was sort of a Spanish/ South American style where you can order either small or large plates. We of course chose to get a bunch of small plates (at both restaurants) so we could try a bunch of the delicious sounding dishes. I seriously felt like a Top Chef judge all week with all the delicious food the BF and I were stuffing ourselves with.. Oh, and all the wine and cocktails. Don't even get me started on those.
By the time we made it back home on Thursday I could not even stand the idea of eating or drinking any more. I was craving a major detox. However, it would not be the middle of March without a Saint Patricks Day celebration. And so I did what any other twentysomething does after spending an entire week eating and drinking, I sacked up, put on an all green outfit, and spent Saturday hanging out by the beach and bar hopping. I guess life doesn't get much better? By yesterday I was officially done, and am now swearing off drinking until Las Vegas (which is less than two weeks away). And I am REALLY cracking down on finding a new job. I swear.
(After having drinks on the top of the John Hancock building)
In other bloggy news... The BF (who has obviously been reffered to repeatedely here) found my blog. Yes I kept it a secret from him. Is that weird? Do people in your "real life" read your blog? For some reason I was really embarassed, and now feel slightly awkward at the idea of him reading this. I know it's not a big deal.. but still.

Oprah

It's almost embarrassing to admit, but before Monday I had never watched a single episode of Oprah. I had nothing against her, but it was pretty low on priority list, and I don't usually watch television during the day. Three o'clock on Monday I was at the gym, and happened to be one of the lucky ones to get a treadmill with a TV attached. Bored with my ipod, I flipped through the channels (all 4 options) and happened upon Oprah. Within moments I was hooked. The minutes flew by, and before I knew it 45 minutes had passed. Oprah is a great distraction. Suddenly I was slightly more motivated than before, my ipod playlist has literally been haunting me for the past few weeks, and anything that takes my mind off of working out is a miracle in my book. Tuesday came, and I decided to wait till 3 to go. And like clock work, time seemed to move a little faster. By today I had the best work out I've had in ages, and I was almost limping off the treadmill (in a really good way!) I made a goal last weekend to lose 5 pounds before Las Vegas (a little over 3 weeks away now). I am feeling better than I have in a long time. I'm more motivated, I've been eating better, and working out harder. And if I meet my goal I will owe it all to Oprah. So maybe this is why she has been so popular all these years? The magic powers....

p.s. I've also been getting super crafty lately. Pictures to come soon!

Something I've Learned

A huge part of growing up is learning about yourself. Being a rather introspective person (I’m very much “in” my head) and having been a psychology major in college I truly value the relationship I have with myself. I spent high school trying desperately to make myself “someone” or “something.” It wasn’t until college that I started tying to find out more about who I am. My emotions, my reactions, what I want. And this past year or so has been about accepting this person, myself. It’s sort of enlightening to realize things about myself, traits that I have always had but perhaps never recognized, and this awareness is bringing me happiness. And the more I learn about myself, the better I am in my relationships. Last night for example, I was in one of the yucky moods that I find myself in roughly once a month. Everything felt wrong. Even the things that were right weren’t right enough. I had a nice evening. The bf and I made dinner together, I drank a glass of wine , we watched some tv. He sensed that I was in a bad mood, and tried to comfort me (which is of course exactly the attention I wanted at the time, even though I shrugged and acted like I was fine.) The evening was exactly what I wanted. It’s what I always want. To feel comfortable and loved. To be with a wonderful guy. Except instead of feeling happy, all I felt was unsatisfied. I want us to move in together. I want to progress. I felt like everything in my life is just in a stand still. And yes its good, but I need to evolve. Waiting to find a job, waiting to hear back from graduate school. Basically I just wanted to cry. I felt miserable even though I knew I was happy. I have basically gotten everything I’ve wanted, and yet still it’s not enough. I didn’t have any control over the way I felt, and that always sends me into a tailspin. (Can we say control issues?)
Here is where the break through happened. In the past I would have found some meaningless thing to get upset over. I would have used this item to throw a tantrum about, there would be tears, and things said that I really didn’t mean… all to go to bed pouting and feeling sorry for myself. Except instead of doing all of these things, making all of the mistakes I’ve made so many times before… I stopped. I told myself that these were just hormones. I recognized that it felt sucky to not have control over my emotions, and that I’m feeling unsatisfied in this moment. I gave myself permission to feel this way, and I didn’t expect anyone else to make it better. I did not take it out on my boyfriend because truly (and I swear this is a new revelation for me) there is nothing he could have done to change the way I felt. Not to get all zen or anything, but happiness comes from within. I know “they” always say that, but it’s so absurdly true. People can go around trying to make you happy. It does not matter. You can only rely on yourself to be happy. So I decided to go to sleep a little early last night. I shut my mouth and forced my eyes closed. And after 9 hours of sleep, I woke up this morning feeling fantastic. I was relieved that I had not thrown a tantrum. I was happy to be waking up in the arms of my lovely boyfriend who was not upset with me for throwing the hypothetical fit. And miracle of miracles, my pms-y sadness was gone. Simple as a good nights rest. No tears were EVEN shed.
And so I have learned this about myself. When everything feels wrong, and nothing has happened, just go to sleep. A good nights rest makes everything better. That way if you wake up and something is still feels wrong, at least you have the energy to deal with it.
Oh and I get cranky when I’m hungry.

Happy March!

Last week was sort of a weird/ hazey/ mad dash. I wanted to blog, but for some reason it just didn't happen. I would think of something to write about, sit down, and then get distracted or go blank. Does this ever happen to you or am I the only non-creative blogger in the world? Anyway, I'm still here.
So here's my attempt at a recap...
Last week was:
- Mardi Gras. Not that that I really did anything to celebrate, because I was informed that people in the "real world" (as in not in college anymore) who don't live in New Orleans, don't actually do anything exciting. Tuesday evening we walked to a New Orleans-y bar, saw that there was a long line & a cover, and decided to get frozen yogurt instead.
-Then we had Ash Wednesday, which was also the day I finished Eat Pray Love. First I thought maybe I would give up alcohol for Lent. Until I realized that was wayyyy too hard. So I thought maybe just hard alcohol. And then I realized that in the next 40 days I will be going to Chicago & Las Vegas. So cutting out alcohol was virtually impossible, and I realized the sacrifice probably had more to do with getting back into bikini shape then actually recommiting myself to god. So, in the spirit of Eat Pray Love I decided that for the 40 days of Lent I would take time to pray each day. Along with praying, I am trying to not say any bad words, and bring in re-usable grocery bags when I go to the market. (I have a bunch of cute ones from Whole Foods/ Traders Joes, and I always forget to bring them in, resulting in wasting even more paper/plastic.)
So there you have my three small attempts at being a slightly better person. I'm covering 3 bases: relationship with god, better-ing myself (and my potty mouth), and helping the planet by being a little more green.
-I did not work out once last week. Instead I started a new scrapbook project (SUPER EXCITING!), went to almost every craft store in the LA area, and.... ate a lot of frozen yogurt? Ugh.
(I am incapable of scrapbook without making a huge mess. I have to lay everything out.)

Now that it is March I am going to be super motivated to work out. I swear. Our Las Vegas trip is in 3 weeks, which means bikinis and cocktail dresses, so I really have to get my act together.
The BF and I did go on a seven mile bike ride yesterday on the beach path (I love riding my purple beach cruiser!) so I suppose that counts for something.

As for now...
-I'm getting SUPER excited for Chicago. I LOVE everything that has to do with traveling (except security lines)... Packing, exploring a new city, HOTELS!! It's all so exciting. I've already starting my packing list... If anyone wants to meet up in Chicago let me know! We arrive on Sunday, and I will be wandering around the city all by myself Monday thru Wednesday during the day (while the BF is at his conference)... (ummm, if you're a creeper please don't stalk me.)
-The Bachelor season finale tonight! Woo Hoo! I had a dream about this last night. Is that crazy?
-My Mom's B-day is next weekend.. and I will be cooking her a special birthday dinner on Saturday night (because she says she loves my cooking more than any restaurant.) So I need to find some deliciously special recipes for Saturday night. Any suggestions?